The Stages of Reverse Culture Shock

Hello friends...


1 year ago, I was in a complete state of loneliness and desperation for God and truth, but said 'yes' to God's plan and next adventure in my life... which led me to...


1 month ago, I was getting ready to wake up and go hold and feed orphan babies.

1 week ago, I was enjoying my last couple hours of Kenyan sleep.

1 hour ago, I was listening to music trying to process all that's happened since I've been home.

1 minute ago, I reread a debriefing article with the stages of reverse culture shock.


And that sums up my last week. Bwana Asifiwe- both Jessica and I got home safely. God was with us and working in our favor the whole trip.

Stage 1. The Ups & Downs of Preparing to Go Home

• I was so ready to leave Kenya. I made myself be ready to leave Kenya. Too much hurt has come in the past when I've tried to avoid thinking about the end totally then it hits me like a brick wall. So I started to set "benchmarks" of things to look forward to when I got home: moving in with my best friends again, my dear friend's wedding, my Sr. French horn recital, visiting California, and of course graduation in December! Everything was getting me so excited to get home, and so ready to make the switch between cultures... except at the same time, I felt like I was trying to hold on to every moment of Kenya; every smell, every sound, every feel, every word, every accent, everything... but then, time was flying more quickly then I knew what to do. It became a game to hold on and let go. I would make some sort of fishing analogy now, that you have to release the line-thing at just the right moment when casting, but I'm a bit too frazzled. Work out the analogy yourself if you'd like :)

Stage 2. Yay Home!

• Anticipation, Excitement, Happiness, Fascination... yep- textbook characteristics to my first few days home. I was so happy to finally get home. I was fascinated by every difference and every new change- driving on the right side of the road, cold milk, carpet, changing leaves, a new puppy, clean tap water, laundry machines, boxed cereal, sweet corn, and peaches. I still am so happy to be home- but this euphoric stage only lasted for Wednesday, Thursday, and part of Friday. I even told at least one of my friends that I experienced no jet lag and almost no culture shock. If I'd understood the stages more at the time, I'd know what was coming next...
  

Stage 3. :(

• Frustration, Anger, Alienation, Loneliness, Disorientation, Helplessness, Irritated, Critical, Stranger... textbook characteristics of this weekend. I was so thrilled to have my sister and her boyfriend come home to NY for the weekend. I was anticipating a packed weekend of fun and relaxation. Friday evening, I started to feel unsettled. When they got home later at night, they brought with them an element that I was distant from- the American young people culture. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, just something I had yet to come in contact with since I returned home. No avoiding it now. American culture is right in my face again. And with the American culture is the trying to explain the Kenyan culture. I really felt prepared for this- I understand that when I have a Kenyan story to tell, odds are that people don't really want to hear... and if they do want to hear, it's difficult to explain the story in a way that they can understand the Kenyan culture and thereby understand the story. so, I'm still in this phase. I feel angry for no reason. This morning at church- I felt enraged and then a split second later like I needed to burst into tears, all brought on because I remembered that last week was the last time I worshiped in Kenya. It was a celebration of dancing and singing and praising the Risen King. I wasn't prepared to worship our Lord sitting in a pew singing hymns [no offense, hymns]. Forgive me and be patient with me. Be honest with me, bring me back to American reality. Speak truthfully and lovingly. And pray with me as I work my way toward stage 4.
  

Stage 4. Normalizing and Readjusting

• This is a gradual process. I'm still thinking positively right now- and I have hope and knowledge that everything will normalize, while keeping in mind that I am absolutely not the same person I was the last time I was here 2.5 short months ago. I look forward to seeing the specific changes within me, and can't wait to see how this summer of ministry will play out in daily life. And beyond all the hope I have within- I have Jesus Christ. As I choose to dive into a deeper relationship with Him and the God of the universe, I'll see the person He has molded me into this summer. I pray that this new person is a truer and clearer reflection of my Savior.
  

So how can ya'll join me in this reverse culture shock process?

• Pray for Me and For this Process: It's tough. I fully expected this. I prepared myself as best I could before I went to Kenya to deal with this. Now pray with me that God's presence will be stronger still and that I don't get tripped up by all the distractions I face daily. Also pray for creativity in coping with the change- I've already been able to dive back into my music and can see it being used as a healing tool already. Pray that as I process, God provides more/other outlets for healing as well.
  
• Pray for Kenya: Pray for the government. Pray for the people. Pray for Christ's Hope. Pray for the staff and volunteers. Pray for the patients. Pray for the families. Pray for the children taught God's word daily. Pray for the Ministry Care Point children. Pray that miracles are experienced and that God is given ALL the glory. 

• Follow Me on this journey back to 'normalcy': I'm probably only going to be updating my own blog from now out, but feel free to follow me and join me in this new adventure: maryfugate.blogspot.com

Mungu Aku Bariki [that feels so out of place...],
Mary